Folly and Forgiveness Read online

  Folly and Forgiveness

  By Lizzy Brandon

  Copyright © 2017 by Author Lizzy Brandon. All rights reserved.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including photocopying, recording, information storage and retrieval systems without the prior written permission of the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  All registered trademarks in this book are property of their respective owners.

  Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

  Contents

  CHAPTER 1

  CHAPTER 2

  CHAPTER 3

  CHAPTER 4

  CHAPTER 5

  CHAPTER 6

  CHAPTER 7

  CHAPTER 8

  CHAPTER 9

  CHAPTER 10

  CHAPTER 11

  CHAPTER 12

  CHAPTER 13

  CHAPTER 14

  CHAPTER 15

  CHAPTER 16

  CHAPTER 17

  CHAPTER 18

  CHAPTER 19

  CHAPTER 20

  CHAPTER 21

  CHAPTER 22

  CHAPTER 23

  CHAPTER 24

  CHAPTER 25

  CHAPTER 26

  CHAPTER 27

  CHAPTER 28

  CHAPTER 29

  CHAPTER 30

  CHAPTER 31

  CHAPTER 32

  CHAPTER 33

  CHAPTER 34

  CHAPTER 35

  CHAPTER 36

  CHAPTER 37

  CHAPTER 38

  CHAPTER 39

  CHAPTER 40

  CHAPTER 41

  CHAPTER 42

  CHAPTER 43

  CHAPTER 44

  CHAPTER 45

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

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  For Karol

  Who believed in me, until I could believe in myself

  ~ ~ ~

  CHAPTER 1

  “Elizabeth Bennet!” her mother screeched.

  Elizabeth groaned. She had not expected Mr. Collins to convey her refusal so quickly. She turned toward the door, but heard her mother’s footsteps announce she need not travel any further.

  “What are you about, refusing a proposal of marriage?” Mrs. Bennet cried as soon as she had opened the door.

  “I cannot marry him, Mamma.”

  “Whatever do you mean? Of course you can marry him, and you will.”

  “I will not.”

  “You foolish, headstrong girl. Come, we will speak with your father.” Elizabeth dutifully followed her mother down the stairs. Surely her father would not force her to marry Mr. Collins.

  Mrs. Bennet stormed into the library without knocking and Elizabeth followed.

  No, her father would not force her to marry such a buffoon. They were not so poor that she had no hope of making another match, despite what Mr. Collins may believe. Elizabeth did not care for rank and did not require an estate. A clergyman or attorney, even a tradesman, would suit her fine, assuming the gentleman in question was a man she could respect, admire, and love.

  “Oh Mr. Bennet, you are wanted immediately,” his wife cried in a shrill voice. Elizabeth knew the pitch of her mother’s voice tended rise the more upset she grew, and she glanced apologetically toward her father for being the cause of such a disturbance.

  “You must come and make Lizzy marry Mr. Collins, for she vows she will not have him, and if you do not make haste he will change his mind and not have her.”

  “I have not the pleasure of understanding you,” he replied as he carefully wiped his spectacles. “Of what are you talking?”

  “Of Mr. Collins and Lizzy. Lizzy declares she will not have Mr. Collins, and Mr. Collins begins to say that he will not have Lizzy.”

  Mr. Bennet raised a sardonic eyebrow in his daughter’s direction. “And what am I to do on the occasion? It seems a hopeless business.”

  Mrs. Bennet, already flushed from her exertions, threw her hands into the air. “Speak to Lizzy about it yourself. Tell her that you insist upon her marrying him!”

  “Come here, child,” Mr. Bennet called to his daughter. Elizabeth watched her mother step to the side and nod in satisfaction. Her mother had never wielded any influence over her father through reason, but Elizabeth knew that she often wore him down through sheer persistence. Elizabeth feared this would be an occasion her mother would continue to press. Ice began to form inside her.

  “I understand that Mr. Collins has made you an offer of marriage and you have refused. Is it true?”

  “I have, Sir.” Elizabeth nodded, hoping to show a confidence she no longer felt.

  “Very well. We now come to the point. Your mother insists upon your accepting it. Is it not so, Mrs. Bennet?”

  “Yes, or I will never see her again.” Mrs. Bennet crossed her arms and Elizabeth recognized determination on her mother’s face. Even if her father supported her, these would not be the final words spoken on the subject.

  “An unhappy alternative is before you, Elizabeth. From this day, you must be a stranger to one of your parents. Your mother will never see you again if you do not marry Mr. Collins, and I will never see you again if you do.”

  Elizabeth paused a moment, wanting to be certain she had understood her father correctly. When he winked at her, she let out a sigh of relief, grateful beyond words that her father had not disappointed her.

  A cry of frustration rent the air and Elizabeth turned to see her mother, red-faced, trembling and pointing back and forth between Elizabeth and her father.

  “You both think you are so clever,” she spluttered. “You think you are better than all around you, and all the world is a joke. Neither of you have any care for the rest of us.” She turned to her husband. “You laugh at me and my nerves, but fail to do anything to see to our future. Now you will not even support me in the one step that would see to your family’s security.” In fury, Mrs. Bennet turned and rushed out of the library, slamming the door behind her.

  “Thank you, Father,” Elizabeth said with relief, now that the drama was done.

  “I would not see you shackled for life to such a man,” Mr. Bennet replied, waving away her thanks. “You will find someone worthy of you, of this I have no doubt. In the meantime, I expect your mother will have further words with you. You have my support, Lizzy, but that will not stop your mother from speaking on the subject. I wish you well.” Dismissing her, he turned back to his book.

  Elizabeth left the library and quietly walked out of the house, keen to escape her mother.

  “Lizzy!” Mrs. Bennet called as she chased her daughter outside. “Lizzy, come back here this instant!”

  Elizabeth stopped. She could not quite bring herself to walk back to her mother, but as her mother was not far behind, Elizabeth assumed that stopping would be sufficient.

  “Elizabeth Bennet, you will return to the house and accept Mr. Collins right now.”

  “I cannot.” Elizabeth turned to face her mother, well aware of the storm brewing.

  “You can and you will! Who do you think you are to refuse such a proposal? Mr. Wickham is a pleasant fellow, but he cannot support a wife and family. What�
�s more, you do not know for certain that he will even make you an offer.”

  “I assure you, I am not awaiting an offer from Mr. Wickham.”

  “Then why on earth would you refuse such an offer?”

  “Mamma, you must see that we would not suit each other.”

  “What difference does that make? You would have a home and security and be the saving of us all. You must marry!”

  “But I must not marry him. I will not see myself tied to such an absurd man. We would cause each other nothing but misery.”

  “Nonsense,” Mrs. Bennet waved her hand, as if such concerns were inconsequential. “You learn to hold your tongue and he will fancy himself happy enough. As for you, being married to such a man would be far less miserable than starving in the hedgerows once your father dies. You have no idea how low we will sink if Mr. Collins takes Longbourn and none of you have married.”

  “I will not link myself forever to a man I cannot respect and do not even like.”

  “You have no idea what it means to be poor,” Mrs. Bennet spit out in a low voice. Elizabeth held her head high, despite the churning inside her. Her mother could not force this marriage.

  Mrs. Bennet paused to catch her breath and settle herself somewhat. “You have lived your life in an estate with servants, never worrying where your next meal might come from. You have never had to labor in the kitchen or do piece-work in the evening for extra coin. I was not born a gentlewoman, and I understand, in ways you cannot, what you are risking by refusing Mr. Collins. You think so highly of yourself that see him as beneath your intelligence. What good will your wit be when you have no father or husband to see to you?”

  “I cannot marry Mr. Collins.”

  “But why?” she cried in genuine confusion, “I do not understand you.”

  “I will marry for love, or not at all.”

  Mrs. Bennet rolled her eyes as she threw her hands into the air and walked around Elizabeth. “Love? What does love have to do with marriage? Do you think I loved your father when I married him? I was fond of him certainly, and expected I would love him. More importantly, I knew he was capable of supporting not only myself, but my sister and mother if need be. I knew my father would benefit through the connection with a gentleman and be better able to provide for the family I left behind. I knew my future children would be well set in life. Every girl wants to marry for love, but it is a dream and impossible for most.”

  Mrs. Bennet paused, hands on hips, and closed her eyes as she drew a deep breath. When she reopened her eyes, there was a clarity and focus Elizabeth could not remember ever having seen there.

  “I know you wish for a better marriage for yourself than what you see between myself and your father. I wish you luck, for that is what it will take. You will be happy if you decide to be happy. It is far easier to decide to be happy when you are not hungry and afraid. I chose to be happy in my marriage, and I was, until I began to fear. I fear for you and your sisters if you do not marry, for your father will not live forever.”

  Mrs. Bennet stepped forward, taking her daughter’s hands. “I know you think I am a silly woman. Perhaps I am. But it was a woman’s decision made to marry your father. A girl wants to marry for love. A woman marries for security.”

  Elizabeth pulled her hands back and crossed her arms. “I will not tie myself for life to a man such as he.” She knew repetition would not sway her mother, but knew no other argument that would.

  “And what other option do you have? What other men are falling at your feet and begging for your hand? I will not have you an old maid living off the charity of others if it can be helped. I pray Jane will marry Mr. Bingley, but until their vows are said in church we cannot count on him to see to our future.”

  “And you would barter me away to the first eligible man who can secure your own comfort,” Elizabeth snapped back, finally losing her composure.

  “And yours!” Mrs. Bennet cried, stepping back quickly as the color fled her face. “But you will not listen to reason. You are determined to go your own way for no better reason than because you want to.” Elizabeth watched as the color flooded back into her mother’s face. “You are too foolish to realize the danger you have put yourself in, and the rest of us with you.” Mrs. Bennet shook her head as tears formed in her eyes.

  Elizabeth knew she had gone too far when she realized the tremors of her mother’s hands were not her usual affectation. She stepped forward, uncertain what to say. “Mamma –”

  But her mother jerked away before Elizabeth could reach her.

  “No. Keep your independence. I have done with you from this very day. I told you that I should never speak to you again, and you will find me as good as my word.” On a half sob Mrs. Bennet turned and rushed back into the house.

  Elizabeth covered her face with her hands, trying to push away the headache that was forming. Her mother would calm down. She would take to her bed and complain to Jane about her undutiful child. She would likely continue in this vein for a few days, perhaps even weeks given her anger on the subject, but she would calm down. Eventually her mother would forgive her and they would no longer have this serious division between them. Elizabeth knew she was her mother’s least favorite child, but she still hated to be at odds with the woman who had birthed her.

  Elizabeth took a deep breath and straightened out her dress with shaky hands. She hated fighting with her mother. She should go apologize to Jane now, as she knew Jane would bear the worst of dealing with their mother’s temper and nerves.

  No, not now. More than anything, Elizabeth desired to escape the house and all the tension and anger inside. Jane would forgive her, far more readily than her mother, if she were to go for a walk and calm her own nerves first.

  Her course of action decided, Elizabeth turned to walk towards the woods. She had not made it more than a few steps before she heard a scream from within the house, followed by a terrible crash.

  Elizabeth quickly returned to the house, meeting her father in the hall as he left his library.

  “Papa, come quick, come quick!” Jane cried. Elizabeth ran ahead but stopped short when she saw Jane kneeling at the base of the stairs, next to the limp form of their mother.

  CHAPTER 2

  “Bingley, you should come with me to London.”

  “What in heaven’s name for? My business is not so urgent I must leave today. I plan to visit Longbourn and see Miss Bennet today.”

  “Which is precisely why you should go.”

  “Whatever do you mean, Darcy?”

  Darcy sighed and tapped his foot. He had been dreading this conversation, but knew it must happen now, before it was too late. Bingley was the best friend he had ever had, but still had much to learn. Darcy had been pleased to guide his friend through society and offer his assistance on business matters, but he dreaded a discussion that was certain to hurt Bingley.

  “You paid close attention to Miss Bennet all night and it did not go unremarked. To continue to pay such notice will give rise to expectations.”

  “So what if I do? Miss Bennet is an angel and I adore her.”

  “Adoration is a poor foundation for matrimony, Bingley. She would bring nothing to the marriage financially or socially.”

  “She is a gentleman’s daughter, a fine catch for the son of a tradesman.”

  “Yes Bingley, but her relations would bring you no benefit through the connection. One uncle in trade and another an attorney, they would be of no help to you in social circles.”

  “Blast social circles, I love her.”

  “As you loved Cassandra? Or Fanny? Or Emma?”

  “Those were passing fancies.”

  “They seemed serious enough at the time. You declared to me that you loved each of them.”

  “Miss Bennet is different.”

  “As you said of Cassandra after Emma, or was it Fanny?”

  Bingley stormed off to the other side of the room in a huff. Darcy waited patiently, seeing Bingley’s petulance as fu
rther evidence he was not ready to marry.

  “I know I told you I loved each of them. At the time, I thought I did.” Bingley ran his hand across his face, then leaned against the wall as he stared into the fireplace. “I loved their elegance, their smiles, and their connections,” he admitted with a glance to his friend. “Mostly, I loved that they would deign to speak to one of my background. I knew nothing could come of my infatuation, none of their fathers would have ever approved a match, no matter how much they needed my money.” Bingley looked back into the fire. “They were safe to love because nothing could come of it.”

  Darcy watched his friend in silence. He had suspected as much at the time, but had not realized Bingley had understood himself. The fire crackled as Darcy continued to wait, allowing Bingley time to think.

  “Miss Bennet is different,” he began again. “She lacks the artifice of the women in town. She is so open and kind. But she is not a woman who will forever be outside my reach either, she is real. I am not dreaming and romanticizing a match that can never be. Miss Bennet is real and I still love her.”

  “I admire and applaud your introspection. While I have seen you often in love, I have not heard you analyze the reasons before. I will grant that Miss Bennet’s situation is much different from the other ladies in some ways. In one respect, however, she is very much the same. She comes from a family of no fortune.”

  “She is no fortune hunter,” Bingley declared as he spun around to face his friend, “And I will not stand to hear her called one.”

  “Calm yourself,” Darcy replied, raising a hand. “I had no intention of calling Miss Bennet a fortune hunter.” When his friend had calmed and dropped his fists back to his side, Darcy continued. “But I do believe she would act as her family directed in order to protect them. I have heard that Longbourn is entailed on their cousin, Mr. Collins. A family of five daughters must look for one of them to marry very well in order to safeguard the others. Are you certain she loves you, or is she seeking security for her family? I have no doubt the lady likes you,” Darcy interjected, before Bingley could protest, “But does she love you as you love her? If you are to be indifferent to fortune or connections, do you not deserve the full heart of the lady?”